Men Would Never Survive Dancing..

The absolute most obnoxious thing men say about stripping is that they would do it if they were women. "If I were a chick, I'd be a stripper, or a hoe"... No. No you wouldn't! You know why? Because it takes A LOT of patience for bullshit that men, as a gender, don't have! Y'all have the patience and attention spans of ferrets on meth! Tits and a vagina don't automatically equate to piles and piles of money. It takes HARD work and patience. You have to listen to people babble on about themselves, play "20 questions" (but you're the one answering), or hear about bowel movements and other randomly foul bodily issues. It's not all titties and tulips!! Ugh... Let's make this idiot proof, shall we? We'll call it "Stripping: For Dummies"..

When I first started dancing I thought it would be the easiest money ever because I was young, sexy, and loved (still do!) being naked. Seemed like the perfect job.. It wasn't. Not at first. You know why? Because I learned really quickly that it takes hard work, physical strength/stamina, and you've got to be able to hold a conversation. The "cute" thing only lasts for so long and then? Then you have to figure out your "hustle". By this I mean making money without doing sexual favors; which is why a lot of girls don't last or they go my direction, which was getting hooked on drugs. I blew coke and did shots of Vodka (TEN years clean as of Dec. 4th!!) to get through my nights because I had no clue what I was doing. I was hot. I knew how to dance.. But it takes so much more to become great at what I do.

Along the way you learn that the actual stripping/pole dancing part is secondary, and the primary focus is actually having a personality, and smiling. Looking people in the eye. When I first started I was told that the #1 rule is NEVER to look in the audience... Worst advice EVER! I never looked at anyone in the room, always kept my head down, or my eyes closed. Part of that was, of course, due to my anxiety. It took me years to break that nasty habit, and on bad days I still do it. The guys, however, would much prefer a girl who looks at the crowd and smiles. This is obviously difficult for someone with agoraphobia and social/general anxiety problems. So for me it's even more difficult than for the average girl. That's not exactly the point, although it's an important segue into my actual reason for writing this blog. Men can't handle this job because of ONE thing they possess that's more fragile than a thin sheet of ice on the first day of spring; their ego.

Our bodies get picked apart like no other. Your tits are too small. Your ass is too fat, or not fat enough. You don't have long hair. You wear too much makeup. You're not wearing enough makeup. You're not blonde. You're too blonde. You're too skinny. You need to gain/lose weight. People give you money to buy food as a way of telling you that you look anorexic (yes, that happened to me. No, I'm not anorexic). You're too plain. You're "too much". You're too tall. You're not as cute as the young blonde. You're not very smart. You're too smart. Everything! Everything gets picked to shreds by MEN; and women, too. Men can't handle that shit! Their egos would be bruised before they'd ever be able to get an actual bruise from the pole!

Y'all couldn't handle the bullshit we put up with.. Because ANY type of criticism turns men into combative and defensive cry babies! Then it becomes a dick measuring contest. Someone said you're weak? You go to the gym and start lifting weights. If someone calls you a loser because in their opinion your job isn't "good enough", you have to run out and get a  better job just to prove a point. That you're a bigger man. Same with cars, homes, women, and random shit like gaming systems or phones. You can't handle being turned down! Y'all get PISSED if a girl isn't interested in you, but you think you can make money in a business where being denied is quite common; and being turned down for dances happens more often that anyone cares to admit. Anymore, it's a "free show" to a lot of guys. They pay their cover, grab a beer, and don't tip. That's a DICK MOVE, by the way! We HATE.. LOATHE.. DESPISE pieces of shit who think it's okay to stare at pussy for hours, and not spend a dime! But that's a rant for another day. However, fuck you! Now back to my original point; you're too egotistical and weak to be a stripper. You need a cast iron stomach, and men, at best, have the patience of a fruit fly. Y'all HATE babbling. You don't like being told no. And god forbid someone points out ANYTHING on your body that they don't deem attractive; you become overgrown toddlers! It's not cute.

So, if you were a woman, you'd strip? I highly doubt it and I know I'm right; but we'll never find out, now will we? 💙

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Advice for Baby Strippers; if I Can Do It, Anyone Can.

If You're Still in the Industry- Heed the Advice of Retired SWs- Get Your Shit Together!

Really? Let Me Dumb it Down!